Learn to be a Dominant 101

Are you a dominant-aligned person unsure of how to start exploring your dominance? Whether you're seeking to understand how your dominance manifests, looking for specific advice on particular topics, or feeling overwhelmed by expectations, these resources can help you build confidence and knowledge.

This compilation draws upon the valuable insights and educational content provided by two incredible educators in the BDSM and kink community. It serves as a solid Dominance 101 baseline, offering a starting point for those seeking help and guidance.

Evie Lupine at https://www.youtube.com/@EvieLupine
- Evie Lupine is a peer educator on all things related to BDSM, kink, and alternative lifestyles. Her goal is to help everyone find their personal truth regarding their sexuality, desires, and relationship needs. Evie encourages viewers to approach her videos with an open mind and is always ready to answer questions. Her content covers a broad range of topics, from foundational concepts to nuanced discussions about the dynamics of power exchange.
Miss Elle X at https://www.youtube.com/@ElleX
- Miss Elle X offers a holistic and unconventional approach to BDSM, kink, and relationships. She aims to provide both the principles of wisdom and practical tools to excel in all areas of life, including secure submission, empowered leadership, erotic domination, healthy relationships, conscious kink, and sacred sex. Miss Elle X's videos are known for their depth, insight, and focus on integrating BDSM practices into everyday life.

Both of these educators delve into much more detail than what is covered here and are among many creators, writers, artists, and professionals who share their knowledge through writing, media, and real-life interactions. The goal of this compilation is to give people a place to start. Often, the best tool one can learn is that of curiosity and a desire to learn more on their own.

Getting Started

Familiarize Yourself with the Lingo

Understanding the terminology is a great first step:

BDSM Glossary - Must-Know Common Kink Terminology: Watch here

Key Concepts

Learn the fundamentals of safety and consent within kink communities:

(Safewords) Going Beyond Basic Safewords: Watch here
(Consent) Consent in Kink Communities: Watch here
(Negotiating a Scene) A NEW Way to Negotiate in BDSM: Watch here
(Planning a Scene) Scene Composition: An Introductory Guide: Watch here
(Aftercare) The Ultimate Guide to Aftercare: Watch here

Introductory Play Videos

Explore different types of play to find what interests you:

BDSM 101 - Sensory Deprivation: Watch here
BDSM 101 - Sensation Play: Watch here

Becoming a Responsible Dominant

Learn about the qualities of a good dominant and how to embody them:

Relationships Gone Right - Green Flags & BDSM: Watch here
Green Flags of Great Dominants: Watch here
Red Flags of Fake Dominants: Watch here

Exploring Soft Dominance

Break the stereotype that all dominants are cold and harsh with these videos:

Soft Dominance 101: Watch here
The Seduction of Soft Dominance: Watch here

Building Confidence

Embrace and boost your confidence with these insights:

3 Things That Kill Your Confidence: Watch here

Understanding Subspace and Subdrop

It's important for dominants to be aware of subspace and subdrop to handle these situations effectively:

The Ultimate Guide to Subspace: Watch here
The Dangers of Subspace: Watch here
Subdrop and Topdrop: Watch here

Additional Educational Content

This video is a good starting point to reference the type of care you could expect in the "everyday" sense, especially for a submissive who needs help getting that starting point for themselves. It discusses how service is great, but there's so much more a submissive can do to help their Dominant feel seen and heard in a relationship. Remember, rewards aren't just for submissives!

The Care & Keeping of Your Dominant - A How-to Guide: Watch here